Derek-dom

Hello,

I am sure you have all already heard of our gorgeous new kitten Derek! She has recently learnt to use the macs whilst we were sleeping and has written this and has asked that it be shown to the world, so I will do as she asks :

Story

of

my

Life

My full title is Queen Derek Ditch of Wheatley

however you may call me Derek.

I am only 12 weeks old, but I have already

learnt so much. My family are very lovely

and a bit on the noisy side but I’m used to

it!

I was found in a very tasteful ditch, the problem

was it was awfully damp, so I set my pussy cat

solicitor on it and I packed my bags ( which is

hard when you have no thumbs ).

I was passed around a lot . At first I was at this nice lady’s house, her name was Andrea and she has lots of tasty cows….. But she also had a small doggy called Pippa who thought I was a rat and tried to eat me.

Then I found the perfect place – there was this real nice family called the

Wheatleys so I settled in with them…..

There is Me, Oscar, Tallulah, Tilly, Mummy (squad leader )

and Daddy who is pack leader of theWheatley clan!

I have had these jabby things recently : they are supposed

to make me better but I hated them and they made me ill!

Useless!

On the bright side, I am now allowed into the garden which

is brilliant, I keep assassinating these green, thin animals on the lawn; they are so stupid they never see it coming…..

They don’t even fight back, they are no match for me, haha!

I am making a list of good places to sleep in this new house of mine and this is what I have come up with so far :

On the kitchen table

Pros: You can see all your enemies as they come round the corner

Cons: It is slightly crumby and sometimes I tread on the occasional bit of jam

Nestling on someone’s lap

Pros: It is very comfortable up there in the clouds

Cons: When they decide to do something, it can be a bit wobbly

The small piece of rug by the Filing Cabinet

Pros: Extraordinary warmth on that little rug due to the under floor heating

Cons: Very noisy when people walk past my little alcove of Derek-dom

 Thank you for reading the story of my life in these funny fonts and tricky words – To the world I am a mere

kitten, but on paper my CV is excellent!

 Yours sincerely

Derek

Well, I don’t think I can top that so I will leave you to gaze at your computer screens in awe.

Love you ,

From Owl xxx ( and Derek )

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4 thoughts on “Derek-dom

  1. Excellent! |Good to see you blogging again, Tilly.
    And just remember the three rules of cat-dom:
    1. They’re magic so you’ll never know where they’ve gone, or how they got there.
    2. Eat now lest hungry later.
    3. If in doubt, wash.
    Love xxx

  2. In the wise words of Garfield “Eat and sleep, eat and sleep – there must be more to life but I hope not!”

    Love, N xxxx

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