I am sure you have all already heard of our gorgeous new kitten Derek! She has recently learnt to use the macs whilst we were sleeping and has written this and has asked that it be shown to the world, so I will do as she asks :
My full title is Queen Derek Ditch of Wheatley
however you may call me Derek.
I am only 12 weeks old, but I have already
learnt so much. My family are very lovely
and a bit on the noisy side but I’m used to
I was found in a very tasteful ditch, the problem
was it was awfully damp, so I set my pussy cat
solicitor on it and I packed my bags ( which is
hard when you have no thumbs ).
I was passed around a lot . At first I was at this nice lady’s house, her name was Andrea and she has lots of tasty cows….. But she also had a small doggy called Pippa who thought I was a rat and tried to eat me.
Then I found the perfect place – there was this real nice family called the
Wheatleys so I settled in with them…..
There is Me, Oscar, Tallulah, Tilly, Mummy (squad leader )
and Daddy who is pack leader of theWheatley clan!
I have had these jabby things recently : they are supposed
to make me better but I hated them and they made me ill!
On the bright side, I am now allowed into the garden which
is brilliant, I keep assassinating these green, thin animals on the lawn; they are so stupid they never see it coming…..
They don’t even fight back, they are no match for me, haha!
I am making a list of good places to sleep in this new house of mine and this is what I have come up with so far :
On the kitchen table
Pros: You can see all your enemies as they come round the corner
Cons: It is slightly crumby and sometimes I tread on the occasional bit of jam
Nestling on someone’s lap
Pros: It is very comfortable up there in the clouds
Cons: When they decide to do something, it can be a bit wobbly
The small piece of rug by the Filing Cabinet
Pros: Extraordinary warmth on that little rug due to the under floor heating
Cons: Very noisy when people walk past my little alcove of Derek-dom
Thank you for reading the story of my life in these funny fonts and tricky words – To the world I am a mere
kitten, but on paper my CV is excellent!
Well, I don’t think I can top that so I will leave you to gaze at your computer screens in awe.
Love you ,
From Owl xxx ( and Derek )